I Don't Love You, But I Always Will
by darlingswonderland
Summary: Fourteen years. That's how long Santana Lopez has been in love with Quinn Fabray. Fourteen days. That's how long she has to stop Quinn's wedding and finally confess her feelings.
1. Chapter 1

_Fourteen years. That's how long Santana Lopez has been in love with Quinn Fabray. Fourteen days. That's how long she has to stop Quinn's wedding and finally confess her feelings._

* * *

_"Miss Lopez, line one."_

"This is ridiculous Santana, I warned you about keeping her in the lineup, and now look what she's done! She's ruined the entire show!

"Cowart please, this isn't as drastic as you think."

"My designs weren't meant to be displayed on plus sized models, _Ezra_, they were meant for high fashion! I mean for Christ's sake the fabric is vicuna! Vicuna! Do you know what I had to do to get my hands on it?

"No, but I know what you put your hands_ on_ to get it."

_"Miss Lopez, line one, please."_

"That's not funny Ezra! And neither is this catastrophe we're calling a runway show!

"Cowart-"

"Santana don't you have anything to say about this? About how you've ruined my career!"

"Please."

"Butt out Ezra, this doesn't concern you."

_"Miss Lopez, line one."_

Santana's hand moved to rest against her forehead as she rubbed the tips of her fingertips into the creases that had formed there, sighing deeply and closing her eyes as she tried to remain calm.

"Cowart, please relax."

"I'd like to see you relax if your career was on the line!"

"It is, because I agreed to work with you!" Santana snapped, Cowart now speechless as Santana lost her cool. "Now you shut your mouth and you listen to me for once. The show isn't over, and the only thing that's been ruined here is my day. We're going on as planned, because there isn't time to change anything and because frankly I don't care enough to readjust."

"I didn't agree to do this because you_ care_, I agreed to work with you so you can make my designs look flawless!"

"Well I hate to break it to you Cow, but that was ruled out the minute you decided to cover them all in taffeta and call it high fashion." The gasp the man across her desk released was one that caused Santana to roll her eyes, leaning back in her chair and moving her hands to rest behind her head as she sighed.

"How dare you!"

"Look, I've spent my whole life putting up with divas, you aren't the first and you most certainly won't be the last, so you can take the show as it is or walk away looking like a fool."

"I want you-"

"There are two days until we go on Cowart, and I don't have the time, money, or patience to replace her."

"She is _not_ walking in my show, I forbid it," the tiny man sitting across from Santana declared as he stood. "She will _not_ be associated with my brand." Santana bit her lip as she tried to refrain from verbally attacking her client, still tied up in a very pricey lawsuit from the last time she flew across her desk.

"Then you're either going to have to take that design out of the lineup or suck it up and let her walk, I don't know what else to tell you."

"Oh, well this is just-this is just rich," Cowart laughed as he put his hands in the air, waving them around and letting one smack his knee before pointing it at Santana. "You know if I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to sabotage me."

"Cowart _please_, I barely have time to answer my phone, much less plot the demise of your barely relevant brand." The only thing the slender man could do was gasp as he clutched his chest, his mouth completely dropping open as he held onto his shirt.

"Barely relevant? Miss Lopez I wouldn't be so quick to forget that its _you_ who needs me here, missy,_ you're_ the one trying to get _my_ company to merge with yours. You need _me_, you need_ my_ line."

"I don't need squat from you, _missy_," Santana snapped, pushing herself up to stand as she waved her finger. "And if you think you're the only designer out there then you are sadly mistaken. Honey this is _Ralph Lauren_, we don't take orders we give them, and if you don't like what we have to say I'm sure I can find some other small time bouji boutique who will."

"How dare you? Oh you-well, this will be the last we see of each other!_ If_ I decide to take the deal you can guarantee I won't be working with you anymore."

"Can't wait," Santana snapped as she pointed towards her door, Cowart slinging his jacket over his arm and spinning around hastily as he turned his nose up in the air.

"And you better take care of that_ thing_. I find her walking down my runway I'll tie you up in legal paperwork for so long you'll die before you see the end of it." The door to Santana's office slammed shut as Cowart left, silence finally filling the brunette's head again as she sighed.

"Hallelujah," she whispered as she exhaled, falling back down into her seat and resting her head in her hands as she leaned her elbows on her desk. "Ez, remind me to never agree to work for him again. Or queens, for the matter."

"Then you'll never work again," Ezra replied as he furrowed his brow, Santana looking up and smiling for the first time that day as she laughed.

"Valid."

"So, you're not worried? About him not taking the deal?" Ezra asked cautiously, Santana waving her hand as she focused her attention on the papers scattered in front of her.

"Please, that's the third time he's threatened to tie me up in a legal battle this morning, he's just being dramatic. Trust me, he needs us."

"You sure?"

"Positive. This merger is the biggest offer he's ever had or will ever get, and the only reason the company picked him is because they're trying to appeal to a 'larger demographic.'"

"You mean a gayer demographic?"

"Exactly," Santana nodded, scurrying through the papers on her desk as she tried to find the right ones.

_"Miss Lopez, line one is still holding."_

"Hear ya loud and clear Connie," Santana groaned as she motioned for Ezra to answer the front desk, finding her documents and shoving them into a file as she stood.

"Can I take a messa-oh Santana, wait," Ezra hissed as he waved his hand, Santana grabbing her blazer and looking up to see him motioning for her. "Should I send someone down to talk to Lilly or…"

"Crap, I forg-no, no let me do it," Santana dismissed as she ran her hand through her hair, smoothing out the bottom of her dress as she nodded. "I can do it on my way to the meeting." Ezra nodded as he finished jotting down Santana's message, the brunette walking out of her office and down the hall as she waited for an elevator.

For eight years Santana had been working with Ralph Lauren, having started out as a lowly assistant to several higher ups. While picking up people's dry cleaning and coffee orders was an oh so wonderful start Santana had had her fill quickly, six months of barked orders and having her ass slapped finally causing her to snap at the finance coordinator who had run into her and sent green tea down her blouse. While Santana had been sure she'd been fired, especially after she was called into the conference room, she was instead offered a promotion because of her determination and spunk, Santana's life having changed drastically since that moment. From there she climbed the corporate ladder and had recently just been appointed head of the Consumer Intelligence & Experience Department, her first task having been to merge and seal a deal with Cowart & Co. to incorporate their designs in the upcoming Lauren fall line. So far she'd failed miserably, the small fashion show she'd been trying to put on in order to give her execs a preview of the potential designs having just fallen flat in her office. She was tired to say the least, and worked to the bone, looking at her reflection in the steel wall of the elevator and sighing as she noticed the bags under her eyes.

Santana had worked her ass off to get her current job and even harder now to keep it, things like friends and relationships having fallen to the wayside as she climbed to the top. College just hadn't been for her and apparently neither had Brittany, the two biggest things in Santana's young life having both ended for her after her twentieth birthday. She'd been desperate, and confused, the $350 she'd gotten from selling her books back on campus just enough to get her a ticket to New York. After packing what fit in her old Cheerios bag she'd boarded her flight and arrived in New York on May 3rd, 2014, not having looked back since as she started her new life. From there she crashed with different people, usually Blaine and Kurt but sometimes opting for Rachel, doing everything from bussing tables to selling train tickets in order to save up. There was even a stint where she drove a cab and that one week where she fell to her lowest and did a little side stripping, Blaine and Rachel having quickly put an end to that job after yanking her off stage. Still, through it all she managed to save up and finally afford the small studio apartment she still currently resided in, the twenty-eight year old's hard work having finally paid off as she lived comfortably in New York.

The elevator doors finally opened and Santana stepped out on the twelfth floor, a mob of barely dressed models walking by her as they all waved happily. "Hi Miss Lopez!" and "Looking good, Miss Lopez!" was all she could hear as she moved past them with a wave, keeping herself professional as she made her way to the fitting room.

"Lilly?" she called out as she peeked her head in the door, another group of girls turning around as they greeted her.

"Yeah, I'm here!" she could hear coming from behind a partisan, a mess of red hair appearing quickly as the young girl stepped out. "Hi! I'm sorry!"

"It's ok," Santana smiled as she nodded, Lilly yanking a tank top over her head quickly as she brushed her curls away. "Think I can talk to you for a sec?"

"Of course, of course!" Lilly nodded eagerly as she stumbled forward, Santana watching in amusement as her awkwardly long legs guided her forward. "I'll be back in a minute 'Berto!" Santana felt her stomach swirl as a knot of guilt grew, knowing that the young girl beside her wouldn't be returning as they walked.

This had to be, hands down, the worst part of Santana's job, having been fired enough in her lifetime to know how awful it felt. It also didn't help when the reason was something as shallow as weight gain or someone not having the right look, Santana having grown a soft spot for the uncommonly cute girl walking next to her. She'd been aware of this before she began working though and tried her best to suck it up as she breathed, the smile that met her eyes as she turned to speak breaking her heart a bit as she sighed.

"How are you? Everything ok?" Lilly asked sweetly as they reached the end of the hall, Santana leading them to a small bench and motioning for Lilly to join her as she sat.

"I'm great, good, everything's…" Santana trailed off as she tried to recall the speech she usually used, Lilly watching her intently as she tapped her toes. "Lilly you know I adore you. You've been one of my favorites since we first started scouting. You're sweet, and kind, and a genuine person inside and out. However, it seems that-thaaat…" Santana stumbled as she chewed on the inside of her lip, making sure to keep her eyes on everything but Lilly's as she spoke. "Sweetie I'm sorry, but we're having to cut a few girls from the show and unfortunately we're starting with you."

"Oh," Lilly said softly as she turned her eyes down to the floor, her legs no longer swinging as the news sunk in. "That's…well, that's ok."

"Lilly I'm so sorry, it's just-"

"No, Miss Lopez I understand," Lilly nodded as she finally looked up, her eyes misting as she forced on a smile. "I-I haven't exactly been working my best lately. I-I know I've put on a few pounds and…" Santana didn't know what to say as she sat beside the mumbling redhead, wanting to comfort her but knowing it wasn't exactly professional as she refrained.

"You've been a pleasure to work with, I mean that, and I plan on giving you the best recommendation, I swear," Santana said soothingly, Lilly only able to thank her as she ran the back of her hand across her freckled cheek. "You deserve a better job anyways, you know that, one where you're appreciated." The two of them sat there a moment longer as Lilly composed herself, Santana finally resting her hand on top of the model's as she squeezed it lightly.

"I'll do anything I can to help you, ok? This wasn't your first job and it won't be your last, you understand? You're gonna do great things Lilly, big things."

"Thank you Miss Lopez, thank you so much," Lilly finally smiled as she brushed her hair back, forcing herself to stand as she straightened her tank top straps. "I can't tell you how much this has meant to me."

"Well, I hope you at least leave having learned something…as much as you can from Queen Cow." Lilly released a laugh as Santana smirked, patting the girls shoulder once more before speaking. "Really though, you're wonderful, and if you ever need anything you know who to call."

"Oh Miss Lopez, I can't thank you enough, really. But before you go can I just-can I tell you one last thing?" Lilly asked as she talked frantically, Santana nodding as she crossed her arms and listened. "I just-I don't want you to think that I got lazy or that I wasted this opportunity and, well frankly I haven't told anyone else because I don't know what they'll say but-it's just that…" Lilly trailed off as she bit her lip, leaning in close to Santana and breaking out into a smile as she giggled. "I'm pregnant."

"Lilly! Oh that's-that's great! That's great, right? Yeah, ok, then that's great!" Santana smiled, moving her hands to squeeze Lilly's shoulders as she rubbed them. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you, thanks," Lilly whispered as she pulled away, a grin plastered on her face from ear to ear as cooed. "It's scary, but I think I'm ready."

"You're gonna be the best mom Lil, I mean it. How does Aaron feel?"

"Scared. Terrified, actually," the redhead answered with a nervous chuckle, Santana noticing the hesitation as Lilly shook her head. "But he's excited for the most part. I think he's excited."

"Well I'm really happy for you guys, honestly. I mean most people's children utterly disgust me, but I'll give you a pass."

"Well thanks Miss-"

"Santana, call me Santana."

"Santana, that's pretty," Lilly smiled. "Well I just-I didn't want you to think that I was just getting lazy or something."

"Come on, I wouldn't have thought that about you, I never could have thought that about you," Santana dismissed, Lilly blushing a little as she swayed.

"I guess I should let you get back to work," Lilly murmured, offering Santana another soft smile before waving her small hand. "Thank you, for everything." Santana watched as Lilly walked back down the hall, her hands moving to cup her mouth as she shouted.

"Lil!" her voice echoed, watching as the other girl spun around and smiling. "I mean it, if you ever need anything, work related or not-"

"I know Mis-Santana, I know." They shared another wave before going their separate ways, Santana off to another mundane meeting before finally returning back to her office.

On her desk sat more folders and files, papers stuffed into them so tightly that they had to be bound together with rubber bands. Her laptop was already blinking as her inbox flashed with new emails, Santana groaning as she tossed her things on her desk and plopped down in her chair.

She decided to check her voice-mails first and tried to slide open whatever iPad, iPhone, new fangled contraption it was the office had given her to use, resorting to smacking at it angrily until she heard them playing from the speakerphone. She grabbed the stack of sticky notes Ezra had left her with messages and began flicking through them, the voices of execs and partners filling her ears as her messages played on.

_"Miss Lopez, this is Cath-"_

_"Miss Lopez, thi-"_

_"Miss Lo-"_

Again and again she pushed the button on the machine as she skipped through them, Santana nodding off until one particular nasally voice caught her off guard.

_"San? It's me, Quinn."_

Shooting forward in her chair Santana planted both hands on her desk as she pulled herself up, straining her ears and pushing her hair away as she listened.

_"Um, I'm not sure if this is you, I hope so…lady at the front_ _desk just sent me through…"_ Santana jerked the gadget towards her as her eyes scanned over the screen, as if waiting for Quinn's face to appear and smile back at her.

_"How are you? Well, that's a silly thing to ask in a voice-mail, huh? I hope you're doing well though. Listen I've tried to call you a few times but I guess you never got them. It's ok though, I mean I understand that you're a busy lady. It's just that I have some big news I wanna tell you, and I'd rather not do it over a message, so give me a call when you can, ok? I've really missed talking to you, I can't wait to hear back from you."_

Santana's machine clicked as it began playing a different voicemail, the brunette letting this one go as her mind became preoccupied with replaying the message.

_"I've really missed talking to you, I can't wait to hear back from you."_ Missed? She'd said she'd missed talking to her, right? Or had it been missed her in general? Santana didn't know and therefore gave herself an excuse to replay the message again, fumbling with her voicemail and erasing Claudia Lernout's message about a meeting as she hit rewind.

_"San? It's me, Quinn."_ A chill shot up Santana's spine, hitting the back button once more just to hear her say her name.

_"…I've tried to call you a few times but I guess you never got them…"_ When? When had Quinn been calling? Had it been a lot? Or just a few times? Who's definition were they playing by here and where had all these messages gone, Santana cursing Ezra and his obnoxiously bright colored sticky notes that she saw adorning her office as she listened.

_"…I have some big news I wanna tell you, and I'd rather not do it over a message…"_ What big news? What could possibly be so important that it couldn't be divulged over a message? Whatever it was it had been important enough for Quinn to call after months of silence, that last time Santana and her having talked being over a year.

It wasn't that the two were on bad terms or anything but rather that they could never find the right time to catch up or talk, much less have any sort of relationship for the matter, that problem having plagued them their entire friendship it seemed. Santana closed her eyes and could immediately hear Quinn's voice in her head as the memory replayed from the night she still regretted, having been trying to shake the way Quinn's mouth trembled till this day.

_"I don't understand why you're being this way."_

_"Exactly Santana, you don't get it! What you're doing to me, to us!"_

_"Quinn, I thought you understood."_

_"I do, I finally do. You're never gonna change and I'm never gonna settle. Guess this just wasn't meant to happen. Maybe in another life, huh?"_

Santana felt her eyes sting and quickly forced them to open as she pushed her memories aside, making herself focus on the current situation as she replayed the message.

_"I've really missed talking to you, I can't wait to hear back from you."_

Could it be though? Despite everything that maybe Quinn wanted to try again? After all it had been eight years since they'd tried and maybe they were both in the right place now.

There was only one way Santana was going to be able to figure this all out and she quickly picked up her phone, noting the time but unable to care as she dialed Quinn's cell. It rang once, then twice, and just when Santana was sure she'd missed her the sound of a soft voice filled her ears, her skin crawling with goosebumps as she lurched forward.

"Hello?"

"Quinn? Hey, it's-it's-"

"Santana, hi." The brunette froze for a moment as she listened to Quinn say her name, only able to blink as her mouth hung open against the phone. "Sorry about all the messages, I hope it wasn't too obnoxious, I just really wanted to get a hold of you. How are you, how are things?"

"Fine, things are-are fine," Santana managed to get out, her brain a second behind her mouth as she tried to catch up. "How uh, how are you? How are things?"

"Well that's actually why I called," Quinn chuckled on the other end, Santana licking her lips as she leaned forward in her seat. "I uh, well…San I'm-I'm getting married."


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you all so much for the alerts, favorites, and of course reviews! I'm enjoying writing this as much as you're hopefully enjoying reading it! Please keep reading and reviewing, I appreciate it all!_

* * *

_"I uh, well…San I'm-I'm getting married."_

The words hit her like a brick wall, Santana losing her ability to breathe as she sat paralyzed in her office chair. She couldn't tell if her heart had sped up or just halted all together, the growing pain in her chest beginning to become unbearable as she sat motionless. Her stomach was doing an odd sort of churning as a wave of nausea overwhelmed her, her bones locking together as she remained frozen. Santana was able to hear Quinn calling out to her on the other end of the phone but unable to respond as her mouth trembled, her thoughts jumbling erratically as her insides burned.

Married. Quinn was getting _married_, Santana replaying the sentence over and over as she tried to grasp what it meant. For her, it meant losing the girl she'd love since seventh grade, the girl she'd pined after all throughout high school, the girl she pushed away in college because she was scared, Quinn finally having found someone else's hand to hold as she moved on. For Quinn however the whole thing was probably some sort of a dream-like sequence from a fucking Disney movie, her prince finally coming to whisk her away on a horse as they rode off into the sunset for his castle. A prince who probably had money, and a job, but not one that sucked up all his time, who loved puppies and long fucking walks on the beach, who could give Quinn everything she ever wanted and more, someone Santana had wanted to be her whole life and had never managed to become.

"Santana, are you there?" she could hear buzzing in her ear, trying her best to make coherent words as her mind kicked into gear again.

"Yeah, yeah I'm here," she responded hoarsely, having to grip her chest as a sharp pain shot through it.

"Did you hear me? I said I'm-"

"I heard, yeah I heard," Santana answered weakly, her eyes burning painfully as they fogged. "Congrat-congratulations hun."

"Thanks, that means a lot," Quinn said softly, Santana keeping silent for fear that she'd release a sob. "Anyways that's what I've been wanting to get in touch with you about, my wedding." Another pang jolted Santana, and for a moment she could swear she'd actually felt her heart crack in two. Quinn sounded so happy, so thrilled, as if nothing before had ever made her so complete, Santana realizing nothing probably ever had, not even her.

"It's all set for May 7th-"

"What? May-that-that's in what, two weeks?" Santana sputtered, her stomach shifting now as she began to fill with panic. "I mean that's so soon Quinn."

"I've been trying to get a hold of you for weeks San, I told you that," Quinn sighed on her end, Santana swallowing guilt as she remembered. "I even sent you an invitation. I figured you didn't see it though when I didn't hear back."

"No, I-I never got it, I…" Santana began shuffling around through the papers on her desk as she scrambled to find an envelope, in her mind convinced that if she didn't find it then the wedding wasn't real. "Quinn I'm sorry."

"It's ok San, really, you know now," Quinn chuckled, Santana able to hear her smiling through her words as she went on. "And I know this is all super last minute for you and I apologize, but I'd really, really like it if you could be my maid of honor."

"Quinn, I…" Santana trailed off as she felt a rush of confusion boggle her mind, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes as her temples throbbed. "I mean this is-it's a lot to take in right now."

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry this is coming at you like it is but-San you're my best friend, and while I know we haven't stayed as close, you're the only person I trust to do this. I need you by my side San, I need my best friend." Santana opened her eyes to see her office tilting and swirling, shaking her head and mumbling as she leaned forward.

"Look Quinn I-I appreciate the offer but-I've got a lot going on and I just-I have to go ok, I have a-I just have to go."

"Santana, wait!"

"I'm sorry Quinn I-I'll talk to you soon." And with that Santana clicked her phone off and hurled it across her desk, sitting stunned for a moment as she held her breath.

Married in two weeks, Quinn was getting married in two weeks, her mind still not having wrapped around the idea. As if that wasn't bad enough she wanted Santana to be her maid of honor, to take part in the celebration that would surely be the end of her, Santana swaying a bit as she stood. The walls had started closing in on her and her ability to catch her breath was faltering, Santana needing fresh air and out of her office as she made her way to the door.

_"San I'm-I'm getting married."_

The words continued to sing out in her head as she slung open the door to her office, quickly making her way to the elevator and smashing her palm into the button as she panted.

_"…that's what I've been wanting to get in touch with you about, my wedding."_

Her wedding. Her wedding, to someone else, to share a life with someone else, to have a home and make babies with someone else, to grow old with someone else, the visions of Quinn in a gown making her stomach twist violently as she flung herself into the elevator as it finally arrived.

_"…I'd really, really like it if you could be my maid of honor."_

What had Quinn been thinking with that decision? With their past, their troubles, did she honestly think Santana would be able to stand by her side and watch as she left her for someone else? Sure it'd been years, eight to be exact, since they'd even talked of being together, but the fact still remained that they never really ended. At least for Santana it hadn't. Somewhere in the brunette's mind she'd always thought that one day, when the timing was just right, it would happen for them, Quinn obviously not having felt the same as she moved on. And with who? Who was this person she was marrying anyways? Some random guy from work? Her old roommate from Yale? Who in the world could have possibly been good enough to capture Quinn Fabray's heart? Who besides Santana had done that, the thought of someone else touching Quinn making Santana's insides tighten as she clenched her fists.

The elevator finally opened and Santana shot out, running for the exit and bursting out into the side alley as she exhaled. Oxygen quickly filled her lungs as the hopes for her future with Quinn slipped from her fingertips, Santana leaning against the side of the building as she tugged at the collar of her blouse.

It was over, truly over, and May 7th would seal that deal forever, Quinn finally putting the nail in the coffin that was her and Santana's relationship as she made a new life. And there was no way, absolutely no fucking way on Earth that Santana would be there to watch it happen, her mind having already been made ten floors up. She studied herself, the way she must look now crumpled against a wall and how she had reacted to a simple phone call, knowing that the mere sight of Quinn with a ring on her finger would send her over the edge completely. She couldn't do it, no way in hell, slumping down to the ground and wrapping her arms around herself as she finally released a whimper.

It's over San, you and Quinn are really over.

_"I need you by my side San, I need my best friend."_

* * *

_"Miss Lopez, line-"_

Santana's hand smacked down on the intercom button as she tried her best to shut everything out, leaning back to rest in her chair as she closed her eyes. Her head was throbbing, probably the result of the gin she downed the previous night, and the lights burned her eyes, Santana having kept her sunglasses on as she relaxed behind her desk.

"Miss Lopez?" she heard someone call from her door, opening one eye behind her sunglasses to see Ezra slowly poking his head into her office. "Miss Lo-are you ok?" Santana didn't answer as she motioned for him to come in, her hands returning to cross themselves over her chest as she nodded towards her desk.

"Take those red files down to the third floor and give them to Claudia. Also, apologize to her for me for missing her message and ask her what she needed. Then I need you to swing by Cathy's desk and-"

"Miss Lopez-I'm sorry but, are you ok?" Ezra interrupted, his face still contorted in concern as he observed Santana's slightly disheveled appearance. "I mean I-I know it's none of my business but-"

"You're right Ez, it isn't," Santana snapped as she leaned forward in her chair, not usually so firm with her assistant but unable to offer anything more. "I also need you to call Cowart, tell him I took care of Lilly. Can you do that?"

"Y-yes ma'am," Ezra nodded, grabbing the items off of Santana's desk and heading back for the door as he walked away briskly. "Oh and Miss Lopez?" Santana looked up as she saw Ezra's face become soft, her assistant looking at the ground as he thought before meeting her gaze. "I-I hope you feel better. I know you're a tough gal but…if you ever need anything…" Santana nodded as Ezra left, silence resuming her office and mind as she stood.

Taking off her sunglasses and sliding out of her blazer Santana walked over to the small mirror that hung behind her desk, her puffy, red eyes and moist cheeks alarming her as she prodded them with her fingertips. She looked about as awful as she felt, Santana unable to truly care as she released a groan.

"Good job babe, you did it," she mumbled to herself, pushing her black hair away as she studied the lines on her face. "Managed to screw yourself over real good on this one, didn't ya?"

"Not necessarily," a voice chimed in from behind her, Santana spinning around to see Kurt standing in her doorway. "You look like shit baby girl." Santana wanted to shove her sunglasses back on but knew it was futile, Kurt making his way into her office and plopping down in the chair in front of her desk as he sipped his coffee. "So, you know about Quinn's wedding? I'm assuming that's what this is all about."

"And how do you know that?" Santana snapped, harboring a little anger over the fact that no one, especially Kurt, had bothered to tell her about Quinn's wedding.

"Mind reader, I have powers," Kurt smiled. "How do you think I know? Quinn called me frantic last night because you declined to be her maid of honor. Her best friend-"

"Her ex-girlfriend," Santana fired back. "And anyways I'm not really sure if I wanna speak to you right now," Santana snipped as she made her way for her chair, Kurt raising his eyebrows in surprise as he puckered his lips.

"Ok, I'll bite, and why is that? What have I done to add to your angst?"

"How about not telling me that you knew about Quinn's wedding all this time?" Santana asked sharply, Kurt raising his free hand and putting his coffee down with the other as he waved his finger.

"Oh no, you're not pinning this on me lady, I tried to call you."

"Nice Kurt, really? Use my full inbox as an excuse?" Kurt narrowed his gaze as his frustration bubbled, wanting to smack Santana right across her face but refraining as he calmed himself.

"Give me your phone, I'll prove it." Santana pointed across the desk and on the floor where her phone still lay from being chunked there the previous night, Kurt bending over and retrieving the item as he searched through her calls.

"Lady Cakes missed call, Lady Cakes missed call, Lady Cakes missed call, Browasaurus-who's tha-oh Blaine, got it," Kurt nodded, continuing to shuffle through her missed call list as Santana grew uncomfortable.

"So you're telling me that all those were you trying to tell me about the wedding?"

"No, not all of them," Kurt dismissed as he kept his eyes glued to the phone's screen, his thumb swiping over and over as he searched for her voicemail. "The first few were, but after that I figured you knew what I was doing and didn't want to talk to me about it, so I decided to let you come to me first. Then, two months went by without hearing anything from you."

"I was busy with work."

"Aren't you always?" Kurt asked, the sentence stinging Santana as he went on. "Then I resorted to simply texting you, but that's no outlet to discuss something as devastating as the nuptials of your unrequited love, so I tried to ask you out for dinner and lunches. No go, so I stopped all together. I figured you were avoiding me and that in time you'd come around. I had no idea you didn't know."

"Well, I-"

"Oh, here it is, here it is!" Kurt interrupted, a beep ringing out before his soft voice filled the air.

_"Hey baby girl, it's me. I'm guessing you got your invite today. Look I am so, so sorry San, I truly don't know what to say. I'm not sure if you want to talk about it or maybe just have someone listen, whatever you need though I'm hear. Listen Blaine's out of town doing another show, so maybe we can do a sleepover? You just let me know what you need, ok? I love you sweets."_

The message ended and Santana could feel her stomach flip, guilt filling her as she met Kurt's eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are." They stood there in silence, Santana fidgeting with her fingers as she waited for something to say or be said.

"Can you at least put being mad at me on hold for right now so that I can have my break down accordingly?" she finally spoke up, Kurt's expression softening as he walked towards her.

"Look I know this is heavy and I'm sorry you're going through it, truly. But staying in your office and not bathing isn't going to make this any better."

"I haven't been holding up in my office!"

"Haven't you?"

"No, I-"

"Are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday?"

"No they-"

"Aren't they?" Santana's words fell away as she looked down at her frumpy skirt and wrinkled blouse, running her hands down them slowly as she sighed.

"I don't know what to do Kurt, I-this is the first time in a long time that I'm not the one calling the shots." Kurt puckered his bottom lip out as he made his way towards Santana and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in and letting her head rest against his chest as he nuzzled her.

"I know baby, I know," he cooed in her ear, Santana forcing back the hot tear that threatened to fall down her cheek as she groaned.

"I just always thought I'd have time, you know? That I would get another chance, another shot to make it right."

"It's been a long time sweetheart, how long did you think she'd wait?"

"Forever?" Santana asked as she pulled away. "I know I would've."

"Baby," Kurt whispered as he brushed a few wisps of Santana's hair away, resting the palms of his hands on the sides of her cheeks as he sighed. "I know this is hard, I do, but like I said you can't hide out in your office forever."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Santana asked in exhaustion.

"Honestly? I think you should go." Santana pulled back from Kurt as she cocked her brow, her eyes studying his expression to see that he was in fact serious.

"You've gone mad, haven't you?"

"Hear me out," he dismissed, sitting down on the corner of Santana's desk as she studied him carefully. "Why do you think you're still hung up on Quinn?"

"Because I've been head over heels for her since we were 14?"

"Yes, ok, that too," Kurt nodded. "But I think, personally, it's because you guys never really…ended. You never officially put a stop to this twisted cycle, you never got closure."

"Go on," Santana mumbled, moving to sit beside Kurt as he spoke.

"I think you held on because there was always hope, you know? Always the opportunity for more, always that small chance. But now, now that she's getting married, this door can finally be closed, this part of your relationship with her can be put to rest. You can finally get the closure you've always needed." Santana mulled over his words as she stared down at her feet, clicking her heels together as she moped.

"But I don't want closure, I want her."

"San, sweetie I know, but-but Quinn wants someone else," Kurt said softly. "And I don't mean to hurt you or be some kind of killjoy but-I just want to see you happy again, see you move on and not be stuck in this rut, and I think this how you can finally do that." Santana tilted her head as she thought, Kurt's reasoning right but the idea of moving on from Quinn feeling wrong. It made since sure, Quinn was moving on, so why shouldn't she? Besides if Quinn hadn't tried to rekindle anything in all those years it wasn't like she was ever going to, especially now. If she got to be done with them then so did Santana, the brunette trying to find a place in her heart to accept this but still struggling.

"So closure?"

"Closure," Kurt nodded. "And I know it's gonna suck, and be so terribly hard, but I swear once you put this all behind you and move on you'll feel better San. No more waiting around and shutting other people out. It'll be your fresh start." Santana pulled at the skin of her bottom lip as she thought to herself, knowing this was the right choice but still feeling off.

"I know you're right Kurt, I know, but it's gonna be so hard! I mean she asked me to be her maid of honor for Christ's sake, how am I gonna do that? Help her with her wedding to someone else? To look at her, my Quinn, my girl and-"

"She isn't your girl anymore San," Kurt interjected softly. "She's someone else's now, and you have to accept that." Santana's eyes met Kurt's as he pressed his forehead against hers, a moment of silence passing before Santana moved.

"You should go, I have to make a few calls and-"

"Oh Santana don't do this again, don't shut me out-"

"And ask for the next two weeks off," Santana finished, Kurt smacking his mouth closed as he nodded.

"Well then I'll-I'll leave you to it," he said swiftly, grabbing his coffee and pecking Santana's forehead before turning to leave. "Oh and San?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm proud of you," he called from her door. "I know this is hard, but you're the strongest person I know. You'll get through this, I know it." Santana pressed her lips against her two forefingers and raised them towards Kurt, him doing them same before leaving.

After the door closed behind him Santana collapsed in her seat, grabbing her phone and pressing one for the top floor as she twirled a piece of hair around her finger.

"Cathy, it's Santana Lopez from the CIE Department. Listen I need you to get in touch with Linda and tell her I'll need two weeks off…a uh…family emergency…" After she finished that call Santana hung up and began dialing another number, each ring that echoed in her ear making her more and more nervous.

"Fuck it-"

"Hello?"

"Quinn!" she exclaimed into the receiver, not meaning to be so loud but caught off guard by the voice. "Quinn, hi."

"Santana? Oh I was hoping you would call, listen-"

"Quinn I'll-I'll do it," Santana sputtered. "I'll-I'll be your maid of honor."


	3. Chapter 3

_So surprised and thrilled by all the reviews you've all left, they're wonderful, and sweet, and I appreciated every last one! I know this gets old, but thank you so very much! Anyways I'll stop rambling, I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

* * *

"Ezra I don't understand what the big deal is, it's just two weeks."

"Just two weeks? _Just two weeks?_" Ezra parroted back, following closely behind Santana as she moved around her office. "Miss Lopez forgive me, but you've never taken two days off, much less two weeks."

"And?" Santana asked as she glanced at Ezra sideways, her assistant's mouth still hanging open as he waved his hands.

"_And?_ And I just need to know if I should be worried or not."

"Ezra, relax," Santana tried to reassure him as she organized her desk. "I've just had a family emergency come up and I need to head back home."

"Miss Lopez I watched you have your appendix taken out and show up the next day for work."

"Well I had pills, so."

"Miss Lopez please, just-just tell me what's going on," Ezra pleaded, Santana sighing as she let her arms collapse to her side. "Wait is this-is this that moment?"

"Moment?" Santana asked as she arched her brow, grabbing her purse and slinging it over her shoulder as she prepared to leave. "What moment?"

"The one I'll need to remember when you fly off the handle and kill everyone, and the cops ask me where it all went wrong?" Santana snorted as she walked towards the door, patting Ezra's shoulder softly before grabbing the door handle.

"Take care of yourself without me, ok? I'll be back to boss you around before you know it."

"Miss Lopez I'm your assistant, without you here there's no one to assist," Ezra explained as he followed her out the door, Santana waving a hand behind her as she walked away. "I don't have a-why are you laughing? Am I still getting paid for this?"

* * *

_"…your compliance with all lighted signs and crew member instructions is required. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight."_

Santana inhaled deeply as she closed her eyes, leaning back against the head rest and trying to relax as she exhaled. It wasn't that she was a nervous flyer, her job having shipped her across country within just days of each other, this flight however dropping her off back home.

The thought of returning to Lima was one Santana had tried to avoid dwelling on as the idea of seeing old friends and family made her self conscious, having been back home a few times for holidays but her visits always awkward. Her abuela had eventually come back around to her but Santana had accepted their relationship would always be strained, her visits for Christmas and Thanksgiving always ending in stiff hugs and forced goodbyes. While she knew her parents would be glad to see her again she wondered how everyone else would feel, flashes of her old friends from high school popping into her mind as she bit her fingernails. It also hadn't helped that she would also be dealing with the impending nuptials of Quinn as well, so for safe measure she'd popped a few muscle relaxers to mellow her out, Santana scooting around in her seat and praying they'd kick in soon as a hand rested on her own.

"Relax, breathe," Blaine whispered from his seat next to her as he rubbed his fingers over her knuckles, Santana shifting her eyes towards him as he offered her a gentle smile. "It's all gonna be ok." Santana responded by turning her hand over and squeezing his fingers back, Kurt leaning over from his seat on the other side of Blaine as he spoke up.

"This is all very touching but I'm literally about to pass out, think I could get a little support over here."

"After all the traveling we've done I can't believe you haven't adjusted."

"One doesn't simply _adjust_ to having themselves thrown backward during take off, Blaine," Kurt kissed, his nails clawing at the hand rest as he pushed himself down in his seat.

"Just relax, breathe, think of something nice…"

"I'm not a child, Blaine, that crap doesn't work on me."

"Hey!" Santana piped up, Kurt flashing her an irritated glance as he clenched his jaw. "Queens." She moved back to rest in her seat as she closed her eyes and gritted her way through take off, her mind too busy with Quinn and her return home to be concerned with the way the plane shook as they ascended.

She wondered how it would all go, the moment when she would first lay her eyes on Quinn after years, imagining a scene from a movie as weird slow music played in her head. Quinn would be surrounded by people, talking and giggling about her wedding, when all of a sudden the crowd would part and there Santana would stand, time stopping and people fading away as their eyes locked. They'd start moving slowly towards one another, Quinn's smile growing bigger with every step she took until her hands were thrown around Santana's neck. She'd take her in, smell her blonde locks, feel her body pressed against her own, Santana breathing in every inch of Quinn as she whirled her around.

The idea played out in her head as a smile grew on her face, Santana's head tilting to the side a little as her mind ran wild. Of course though that moment didn't stay long as Santana pictured some man intervening as he wrapped his hand around Quinn's waist, her dream of their meeting blurred as it all was quickly pulled away.

Santana's eyes shot open as she realized that not only would she be seeing Quinn again, but she'd be meeting her fiancé as well, the idea always there but not really striking her until now. She'd have to pretend, to suck up all of her hatred and disdain, and fake a civil reaction to his presence and their nuptials, Santana now wondering what all Quinn's future husband knew of her.

Did he know that his future bride had ever dated a girl? Much less the one who would be serving in their wedding, the idea giving Santana a sick sort of satisfaction. She liked to think that there were still parts of Quinn that were still only for them, still only for her, knowing that Quinn liked to keep a tight lock and key on certain phases of her past. Like Beth, did he know about Beth? And what about Quinn's short lived stint as a skank? Sure that all had happened when Quinn was a teenager but still, all those different sides of Quinn were important none the less. Because if he didn't know those things then how much did he really know about the blonde anyways, Santana having already chalked their relationship up to a sham.

But that wasn't what she was going there for she tried to remember, kicking herself mentally as she groaned. She wasn't going to judge, or mock, or mentally pick apart everything wrong with their relationship, no, Santana singing 'closure' out in her head as she yawned.

"So what's the plan exactly?" Blaine asked as he turned between Santana and Kurt, neither one looking back as Kurt panicked and Santana soothed herself. "Guys?"

"Don't look at me, I never got my invitation," Santana shrugged, Blaine looking over at Kurt and waiting as his boyfriend tried to catch his breath.

"There's appare-apparently a dinner tonight for-for all the guests, friends and-and family," Kurt fumbled as he looked away from his window, Blaine biting back a laugh as Kurt explained. "We're to meet at some-some country club-"

"The Easton Estates?" Santana asked as she cocked open one eye lazily, Kurt leaning over to look at her as she raised her brows. "That the one?"

"Yeah, how-how'd you know that?"

"Lucky guess," Santana chuckled, having remembered the ritzy country club all too well. It had been the place Quinn's parents had often taken the girls to over summer when her mom wanted to get blitzed and her dad wanted to recap his affair with his secretary, Santana and Quinn left to entertain themselves most days as they swam in the pool or lounged in the sauna. Of course as they'd gotten older it became the place they snuck wine from and where they spent many a nights dancing together drunk on the boat docks, the two of them giggling about boys and school as they spun each other around. Santana could still smell the magnolia's as she replayed a memory of Quinn reading her palm, smiling to herself as Kurt and Blaine watched in confusion.

"Aaannnyywaaaays, we're all to meet there at seven," Kurt spoke up as his voice interrupted Santana's thoughts, her eyes opening again slowly as she nodded.

"Yeah, sounds fine."

"Are you sure you can do this San?" Blaine blurted out, Kurt smacking him in his chest as he winced. "What?"

"It's fine, really, I'll be ok," Santana lied through her teeth, Kurt nodding his head as Blaine eyed her. "Kurt was right, I need to do this, I need to finally put an end to this."

"Exactly, exactly," Kurt nodded, Santana offering a tired smile.

"Look, as much as Kurt likes to hear he's right," Blaine spoke up, Kurt flashing him an appalled face as his husband went on. "I don't want you to force yourself into something that's gonna upset or hurt you. It's hard enough facing a past lover, but at their wedding? That's just brutal."

"And I think Santana realizes that, but I think she also knows that by going through with this it will give her the closure she's needed all this time," Kurt cut in before Santana could speak, Blaine rolling his eyes as he listened. "I mean what is she supposed to do, live with all these feelings forever?"

"No, I'm not saying she should do that," Blaine replied, turning his head to face Kurt as he explained. "But I think there's a such thing as honesty, as coming to terms with what your feeling and maybe hashing it out? I mean why should Santana have to do this alone? Why shouldn't she and Quinn work this out?"

"Because Quinn is getting married in two weeks and it's inappropriate," Kurt snapped, Santana now watching sleepily in amusement as the two men debated her love life. "Besides, there wouldn't be a point, Quinn has obviously moved on and Santana should do the same."

"I just think that…" And on and on Kurt and Blaine went as they battled back and forth about Santana's choices, the brunette drifting in and out of sleep to the sound of their argument. While Blaine had a point, one that had peaked Santana's interest, she knew that Kurt's was more logical, Santana having to remind herself of why she had come.

"Closure, closure, closure," she repeated to herself before dozing off, Kurt and Blaine's arguing lulling Santana to sleep as she dreamt of her return home. "Closure, closure."

* * *

"Then take the right up here, past the gas station, and it should be down a little ways and on the left."

Blaine turned the steering wheel as he looked over his shoulder, Kurt pointing off somewhere in the distance as they guided the car through the night. As Santana sat in the back of their rental she twisted her fingers together as the anticipation of their arrival bubbled in her stomach, her heart beat having increased with every mile they drove.

This was it, the moment she'd spent the last two days and eight years dwelling over, the one where she and Quinn would be reunited face to face after all this time. She didn't want to be dramatic, they'd of course spoken on the phone or through text, but voices and words don't quite capture someone the way a pair of eyes do, especially a pair like Quinn's, Santana's heart in her throat as she struggled to swallow.

"Here?" Kurt pointed as the lights from the country club appeared, Santana following them down until her eyes landed on the brick mansion.

"Yeah," she replied hoarsely, Blaine glancing in the back seat and offering her a wink as they pulled in.

"Breathe baby girl, just breathe," he spoke up as she looked forward, Kurt connecting eyes with her in his side mirror and blowing her a kiss from his fingertips as he mouthed an 'I love you.' Santana could only nod as they made their way up the drive, overwhelmed with nostalgia as The Easton Estates sign passed by her window.

_"A country club?" Santana had whined, flashing Quinn an un-amused smirk as she watched the blonde pack. "That sounds dull."_

_"What? It's my parents idea," Quinn defended, pushing her friends feet off of her favorite blanket as she shoved it in her pink suitcase. "Besides it's kind of fun, a whole weekend of swimming and riding golf carts. Plus they have a game room and certain nights for certain things, like one night is a dancing night."_

_"Fine, but if it's lame we're bailing."_

_"Deal." The two girls shook hands as Quinn's father called them downstairs, the two of them loading into the family van as they prepared to leave._

_"Who wants to listen to Britney Spears?" her mom had asked, waving around the CD case as she tried to fit in._

_"Mom Britney is so old," Quinn pouted as she buckled herself in. "We like Usher now."_

_"Oh, Ush-well I don't-I don't think we have her."_

_"It's not a her mom, it's a guy, and he raps with Lil' Jon," Quinn explained as she rolled her eyes, her and Santana appalled at how ignorant her mom and dad were._

_"He does what with who?" Quinn's dad had asked from the driver's seat, her parents sharing confused glances as the girls rolled their eyes. "Quinnie I don't think that's appropriate."_

_"We're about to be in middle school dad, we're not babies anymore," Quinn argued back, leaning forward and pointing to the radio dial as she told her mom which one to turn. "Try three. The song is called 'Yeah,' and it's so good."_

_"Oh my God that's my favorite song!" Santana agreed, the two of them giggling as they sung it aloud._

"San? Sweetie, time to get out now." Santana tuned back in to see the valet holding her door open, Kurt and Blaine standing beside him as they motioned for her to join them.

"Sorry," she whispered as she stepped out, Kurt taking her hand as Blaine thanked the valet.

"You've got this, ok? Everything's gonna be fine," Kurt whispered into Santana's ear as they made their way up the steps, Santana planting a kiss on his cheek as Blaine joined them.

"Are we dressed up enough? I mean this place seems very…"

"Ritzy? Yeah, it is," Santana finished as her eyes traveled up to see the chandelier swinging from above, her eyes hypnotized by the twinkling of the lights as she watched it turn.

_"Ok, truth or dare?"_

_"Truth," Quinn answered confidently with a nod, leaning back against the railing of the steps as her and Santana sat outside the front doors of the country club._

_"Ugh, come on Q, it's no fun if you keep picking the same thing," Santana whined as her shoulders slumped, tilting her head to the side as she pursed her lips. "Live a little."_

_"Fine, dare," Quinn gave, throwing one hand up as the other held a cigarette from the pack they'd stolen from her dad's caddy._

_"I dare you to…I dare you to kiss Bobby Malone before we leave."_

_"Ew! Santana gross, he's covered in zits," Quinn grimaced, coughing a little as she passed the cigarette back to Santana._

_"That's the point. Come on Q we're about to be freshmen in high school, it's time you gave that first kiss up. Most people aren't even virgins when they start ninth grade, much less not having been kissed."_

_"Well, are you a virgin?" Quinn asked, Santana taking the cigarette and pressing her lips around it as she sucked._

_"No."_

_"Really?"_

_"Well, I mean I am, but only temporarily," Santana explained, Quinn looking at her in confusion as she watched Santana blow out a mouth full of smoke. "Noah Puckerman and I have been talking, and he totally wants me."_

_"Puck? Really?" Quinn asked. "I mean isn't he always getting into trouble?"_

_"Yeah, but what's that matter, everyone gets into trouble in high school," Santana shrugged off, handing Quinn the cigarette as she leaned back. "So I'm pretty sure we're gonna do it, which means you'll be the only girl left who hasn't." Quinn watched as the red and orange embers fell from the cigarette, rolling it between her fingers as she thought._

_"Are you ready for that? Sex I mean?"_

_"It's just one body part going into another Q, what's the big deal?" Santana played off as she wrapped her arms around her knees, Quinn guessing she had a point as the brunette pointed towards her. "And anyways I'm not the one we should be concerned with, you are Chastity Belt, so we're starting off by getting you kissed. Better start wooing him soon, 'cause you only have three days left."_

_"Whatever, truth or dare?"_

_"Dare," Santana replied quickly as she took the cigarette back and put it between her lips, Quinn watching as she inhaled deeply before blowing a smoke ring out through her puckered, plump lips._

_"I dare you to…hm…I dare you to take off all your clothes and streak around the building."_

_"Geez Quinn, if you wanna see me naked all you have to do is ask," Santana joked, Quinn scoffing as she took the cigarette back. Santana stood as she pulled off her tank top, moving her hands down to the button of her shorts as she kicked off her flip flops._

_"Do you really think I'll be the only girl who's a virgin?" Quinn asked, the idea not having left her mind since._

_"I don't know Quinn, maybe," Santana brushed off, her shorts falling down to her ankles as she stepped out of them. "Why? Does it really bother you?"_

_"No, but apparently it bothers you," Quinn replied, Santana smirking as she untied the string on her bikini bottoms._

_"It doesn't bother me, I just don't want anyone making fun of you or calling you a prude. Especially since you haven't even kissed anybody yet."_

_"But why do I have to kiss Bobby of all people?" Quinn winced. "He's gross."_

_"He's just the only other person here we know is all, relax," Santana explained, pulling her hair up and tying it in place as she moved her hands down her neck._

_"No, I mean I know you-"_

_"Fine," Santana interrupted as she bent down, leaning into Quinn and pressing her hands on each side of Quinn's face. "I'll kiss you then." Before Quinn could speak Santana's mouth was on her own as her lips were overpowered by the brunette's, the taste of nicotine and strawberry chap stick filling her senses as she claimed Quinn's first kiss._

_It was over before it began but for the second Quinn's lips were on hers it felt like a jolt of electricity had been shot into Santana's veins, her body sparking alive as she kissed the blonde. Her stomach was warm and spinning with excitement and tension as her heart pounded against her ribcage, her eyes fleeting open to make sure this had happened._

_She wasn't exactly sure what had possessed her, or where the confidence had come from to make such a move but it didn't seem to matter as Quinn allowed Santana to kiss her, the whole thing collapsing too quickly for her liking as the feel of the cool night air replaced where Quinn's warm mouth had once been. She opened her eyes to see her best friend staring back at her with a smirk, her green eyes dancing with mischief and wonder as the stars reflected off of them._

_"San," Quinn breathed as her lungs finally opened again, Santana running her tongue over her lips before moving to stand up straight._

_"Happy?" Santana asked as she finished taking off her top, the skin of Quinn's mouth still stinging as her cheeks flushed. "Now for that virginity…"_

The sounds of people talking and glasses clinking together shook Santana back to the reality of the situation, looking forward to see that the three of them had entered the country club. High ceilings, crystal chandeliers, and Victorian crown moulding still decorated the entry hall as thick drapes hung over the windows, the furniture still positioned as if Santana had never left.

"Wow, this is-I mean this is just…" Blaine stuttered as his wide eyes tried to take in everything, several people bumping into him as he gazed around.

"Who knew something in Lima could be this classy?" Kurt murmured as he ran his fingertips over the smooth fabric of a loveseat, Santana too busy staring out at the dock through a window as her mind left her again.

_"…as we go on, we remem-remember? We remember, all the…times? Is it…?" Santana laughed loudly as she brought the bottle up to her lips and took a swig, Quinn motioning for the brunette to pass it back as she giggled from her spot on the dock._

_"Vitamin D had no idea, no idea what she was doing when she wrote that song," Quinn laughed as Santana choked on the liquid burning her throat, waving her hand for Quinn to stop as the blonde snorted louder._

_"Vitamin C you loser!" she corrected as she swatted her hand, Quinn turning her head to miss the impact as she drank from the bottle. "You're so clueless!"_

_"Whatever, whatever, it isn't my music skills that got me into Yale," Quinn dismissed as she twirled her fingers in the air, Santana raising her fist in agreement as she howled._

_"That's my girl." The two of them continued to pass the bottle of wine back and forth as they giggled about graduating and chattered on about their futures, Santana pointing her finger at Quinn and blinking hard as she tried to find the right words._

_"I'm-I'm gonna miss your little blonde ass," she slurred, Quinn putting a hand to her heart as if it had been the sweetest thing she'd ever heard. "I mean it I'm-you're my best friend. Won't be the same without you."_

_"I'm gonna miss you too," Quinn replied as she crawled over to sit next to Santana, the blonde resting her head on the brunette's shoulder as Santana let her own rest on Quinn's._

_"Don't know what I'll do without you," Santana mumbled as she licked the corners of her mouth clean of the strawberry liquid, her chest bubbling with things to say as she heard Quinn sigh._

_"I know. But you're gonna be with Brittany, so you'll be ok," Quinn explained as she moved her hand to squeeze Santana's, letting her fingers linger there as they shared the warmth. "And I'll be back to visit." Santana felt her eyes welling as the thought of Quinn's absence became a heavy reality, needing a distraction from it all as she forced herself to stand._

_"Dance with me," she said suddenly as she extended her hand down to Quinn, the other girl looking up in confusion as she studied her best friend._

_"Santana-"_

_"Come on Quinn, dance with me," Santana insisted, Quinn taking the tan hand into her own and standing as she smiled._

_"But there's no music."_

_"I'll sing to you," Santana said softly as she moved into Quinn, her hand still holding the blonde's firmly as her other moved to rest on Quinn's lower back._

_"Maybe you can sing me Usher? He's my favorite," Quinn whispered into Santana's ear as she chuckled, resting her chin on Santana's shoulder as they twirled around._

_"Oh my God, that was, what? The first time we came here, wasn't it?"_

_"Yep, first trip here together," Quinn thought back as she smiled at the memory. "God we were so obnoxious."_

_"Still are," Santana quipped. "'Mom Britney is so old.' You little shit."_

_"What? At the time she was!" Quinn tried to defend, the two girls laughing as they moved together._

_"I still love her music, I mean now that she's cool again of course," Santana joked as she clasped Quinn's hand tighter. "Especially that one song."_

_"Which one?" Quinn asked sleepily as she moved to rest her cheek on Santana's shoulder, her mouth and nose nudging against the crook of Santana's neck as they turned._

_"The one that's like…it's like…"_

_"You promised to sing to me, sing to me," Quinn insisted softly as her eyes batted heavily, Santana running her tongue along her dry mouth as she tried to think of the words._

_"Every time I try to fly I fall, without my wings, I feel so small, I guess I need you baby, and every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face, it's haunting me, I guess I need you baby…" Quinn smiled against Santana's skin as she breathed, pulling back and resting her forehead against the brunette's as she smiled._

_"I love you San."_

_"I love you too, Quinn."_

"Santana! Oh my God, how are you!"

A pair of arms were slung around her neck before she could even recognize who they belonged to, pulling back frantically to see Tina Cohen Chang squealing in front of her.

"Tina, hi!"

"I'm so glad you're here! Quinn said you may not be able to come but…" Quinn. _Quinn_, the name putting Santana's hairs on end as her eyes scanned the room. She was there, somewhere, holding the hand of someone else and flaunting an engagement ring that Santana didn't give her, her need to find Quinn yet distance herself from the blonde conflicting her as she closed her eyes.

"You have to come see Mike, he'll be thrilled you're he-Kurt! Blaine!" As the three of them caught up Santana's eyes constantly scanned the crowd, her effort to find Quinn interrupted when someone pulled on her hand.

"Tina I'll see Mike in a minute I promise, I just-"

"Tina?" Santana's eyes widened as she jerked her head back to see Quinn Fabray holding her hand, a smile resting on her lips as the blonde sighed. "Guess again."


End file.
